For you, a thousand times over.

Crying.

I'm not a kind of person who can easily cry.

I'll cry when I get damn pissed off, or when I watch a damn sad movie.
I'll cry when I lost/damn missed my loved ones.
I'll cry-in-the-shower when I get damn stressed out.
I'll cry only when a damn sad thing happens around me.

It's hard to make me cry. Because you really need the 'damn' element.

Whenever I cry, I didn't make any sound out of it .
It's just the tears flowing. And usually it lasted only for a few minutes.

But a few days ago, I cried for 2 hours, or more, I guess. And I was 'hiccuping' when I cried. My eyes get all puffy and red for the whole day.

Wait. Why? Because I cried due to something I had never cried of before.

I cried because of a novel.
Damn. No book had ever made me cry! And I was crying badly, sadly.

That book had tarnished my one kind of reputation(that I had never cried because of a book)

If you ever come across this novel on any bookshelf in any bookstore, take a good look at it.

I hate it. Wait. Why?
It's damn sad. I mean it, really!

I hate it cuz it made me cry and I hate it because I like it.

Conclusion: this book is brilliant! (Tho there are some views of the author which I find them hard to agree with). Nevertheless, the character of Hassan really touched my heart.

Even by quoting the phrase "For you, a thousand times over..." gets my heart breaking all over again.

Brilliant, Mr. Khaled Hosseini!

And now, I'm anticipating for the Film. Waiting. Excited. Oh! I've got to spare a box of tissue for it. Hehe~

For you, a thousand times over...

A birthday, A mother, A love

Today's Nov 6.
Nov 6 is my Mak's birthday.
My Mak is my mother.
My mother is my love.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY Makkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I screamed at the payphone with my Mak on the other line. No phone credit weh... got to use payphone instead. Thanx to Riry yang sudi menderma duit syiling.
She laughed sweetly and thanking me with her motherly- that makes me wanna go home- voice.

"Makk... I loooooooovvvvvvveeeeeeeeee you!"
dang! how I wish I can say it to her face to face.


maybe people will be thinking that i'm a pathetic person who just can't express my love n feelings even to my family members. let it be.
that's the truth.
when it comes to the persons i really love and treasure (family members and friends), it feels weird to get my love and feelings for them to be expressed. I feel one kind of cheesiness when it comes to showing my affections. Haha.

*I'd rather put my head on her lap and sleep beside my Mak right after arriving home for school holiday- than saying out loud that I miss and love her
*I'd rather tease my Abah about his 'perut boroi', IT illiteracy and horrible handwriting -than saying out loud that he's the best father in da world and that I'm really proud of him.
*I'd rather kutuk my big brothers to my friends for not being handsome, lousy drivers and all -than saying out loud that I love them and really proud to be their sister.
*I'd rather bully and extort my younger sisters and brother- than saying out loud I really love them and that I can't live without them.
*I'd rather watch my Tok cooking in silence than saying out loud I'm really proud of being her granddaughter and she's da best Tok ever.
*I'd rather ask my Makda so many questions and kutuk Athirah's perut buncit than saying out loud that I'm really glad to have them in the family.
*I'd rather bully my best friends -than saying out loud that I'm thankful to be their friend and I love them so much!

well... that's my problem and that's me. i don't mind what other people will think of me. as long as I love those persons, there's no need to express my affections to them. haha

Don't... Nuts? Dowh-nuts? Whatever!

When it comes to donuts, I've got to blame (thank you, actually... hehe~) 3 people on earth right now; Haxi, Kenny Sia and Ein. Haxi told me about the kesedapan of Big Apple donuts, Kenny posted an entry about his trip to Jakarta-he ate Kreme donuts there and Ein blanja me J.Co donuts (thanx to Syd cuz she went to Jakarta that time--it was before J.Co's existence here in Malaysia)

Before this, I wasn't really crazy about donuts. Biasa-biasa jer...Tapi, kesedapan Big Apple donuts makes me thinking about them most of the time, particularly Californian Almond and Snowy...

As for the resemblance between J.Co n Big Apple, I dunno what to say . They're very much the same. I mean, the logo and stuff. Me and friends always talking about the possibilities of J.Co suing Big Apple(or can it be vice versa?) for passing off. Haha~ But I don't care about it. Both are equally good. They shouldn't be rivals tho. Each has its respective fans. As for me, I'll go for both. Long live Donuts! haha

As for Krispy Kreme, all I have now is to dream on. It's whether to wait for it to finally come to Malaysia or book my tickets to Jakarta or the Philipines where the nearest chains of it are situated. I guess I can only choose the first option. I'm still a student. Tadak duit nak travel sendiri weh. Kesiannya...

Ah... sudah2 la about donuts... Raya's coming! Yea... and then i'll go nuts with my exams. haish...
I've got to study but I hate it... Luckily I've met a new best friend of mine who can help me to study Family Law 1. As for other subjects, I can't find bestfriends for them yet... No chemistry... Haha!

Tada... presenting my bestfriend for the Family Law 1:

she's da best!

once a month

*nurin jazlin... such a beautiful and innocent girl. such incident get me thinking about the safety of my little sisters 24/7. damn you cold blooded monster who treated her like that! *


now that I come to realise that I post an entry once in a month! see, how lazy I am?

talking about months, now is the month of ramadhan. tho I was born in the month of May, I was also born in the month of Ramadhan but I dun know the exact date. Tskk, got to ask my Mak about it--*that doesn't meant I was born twice, Okay? haha*

So, it means that I can celebrate my birthday this month, right? Hmmm... twenty years ago, in the very same (ramadhan)month, I troubled my Mak cuz I wanted to see the world. Thanx to me, she got to qada' her puasa for only-she-knows how many days. Haha... Sorry n thanx, Mak! =)

I also come into the conclusion that the reason why I love to eat dates (buah kurma la...) is because my Mak ate a lot of buah kurma when she was pregnant with me during the Ramadhan.




Yes, I love to eat kurma but weird enough, kurma became less favoured by me when it comes to the time to bukak puasa(because of the other food for bukak puasa I bought from bazaar ramadhan). Ya, I know... it's sunnah to break the fast with kurma, miss nur faridah! there's a short circuit in my brain... I'm such a bad person...

I have a lot of reasons to enjoy the month of Ramadhan and one of them is that I suddenly become a braver person in this particular month. why? simple: bcuz of the absence of Syaitan, I know that there's no ghost around.

Ramadhan is indeed a peaceful month.

On the other way around, September reminds me of the month when the meaning of the word 'peace' being faded out from the dictionary when it's attached to the word 'world'. September was the starting point. in simple words, I hate Mr. 'Semak Samun' (get it translated to English)
and his anti-terrorism-konon policy. cheitt!!! podah!

He Qun and Xiao Shi and how they are related to Parenting... haha

*gambar di atas adalah gambar hiasan. tiada kaitan dengan the real He Qun and Xiao Shi. haha

this is one of my old post in my old blog... hehe~

(15 January 2007)

last week, i've made quite a big decision (ya, right! haha). i bought a pair of little tortoises (dunno what the right species they are. turtles? tortoises? uh... whatever!). the male tortoise is called 'he qun' while the female one is called 'xiao shi'. i luv watching a taiwanese drama 'smile pasta' n that's why i named both of them with the name of d lead characters in d drama.

i bought them here, at the UIA (got a lot of stalls in due to tis 'engin fest'). they're cute and simply irresistable(is it the right word?) n that's why i bought em. my thought was rather simple at that time. i will take a good care of them for the time being and until they're big enough, i'll free them somewehere in my hometown. (yea, i even thought of bringing em back home to kedah).

i thought that my tasks are simply easy. give em food, clean n change the water for em, that's all. then i brought em back to my room.

the very first night, i can see that both of em were tryin to climb up the box. then i come to realise that the box is actually TOO SMALL for em. then i started to think a lot. nah, it's not easy! i felt horrible cuz i know, they wanted to be free. so, i promised them that i'll walk em quite often so that they won't be so sad.

I did let them walk around and a lot of people gave their stares at me as if I'm crazy. maybe they're just wondering 'what's that girl doing on the grass, hopping from here to there?' (hey, the tortoises walk very fast, as if they're trying to escape. i tried my best not to let them get away.)

hehe.... then i realised it's hard to do so quite often cuz i have other commitments... but i felt bad too cuz i failed to keep the promise i made to myself (to let them walk around)... and i kept on saying i'm sorry to them (yea... i talked to them. so what??? haha)

only then i realised that keeping pets is, actually... teach us how to become a parent and feel like one. now i understand and truly feel how my parents feel whenever they failed to keep their promises towards their children or fulfilling our wishes due to some problems. they felt the pain too... and i should stop sulking easily and try to understand them... right? hehe...

(5 August 2007)

wow... it's been a while since i left my post (the above-'he qun n xiao shi') alone in the 'draft' section... man... both he qun and xiao shi are big enough now. but the thing is... both of them are now in kedah (my hometown), being looked after by my family... i can't look after them well here cuz i was extremely busy! i'm afraid that they'll be lack of love n care cuz i am really busy with my studies, so i decided to ask my parents plus my little sister to look after them n they agreed... hey, i went back home quite often. i didn't abandon them...

well... now i understand why some parents had to leave their children with their parents when they are out for work! hehe~

and what i learn about myself? hmmm... let just make it simple : i am a 'quite-bad' parent in da future. hahahahahahaha

Analogy

I am 20. And I’ve never been in love. Read: NEVER.

Pathetic? Well, I myself don’t know about it. Sometimes it is pathetic but most of the times, I kind of proud of it. I’m not ready yet. That’s the reason why I remain single till today. Well, plus I need to give full concentration on my studies. Hehe. Such a lousy excuse.

Being the only person without love experience, other people tend to assume that I’ll be doomed the day I’m in my 1st relationship. Naah… I don’t think so. I learn a lot about love from my surroundings. And I’m getting good grades in the subject. Haha.

Example? Well, I can tell one.

Before this, I’m kind of annoyed with a rule on love which reads: Never date your friend’s ex. Your friend will be deeply hurt.

I was like ‘Duhh?? You can’t fall for your friend’s ex even though she is perfectly happy with a new man right now? in what sense she will be getting hurt?’ and ‘What if I never knew that he is her ex and love suddenly, innocently knocks on my heart’s door?’ Chewahh… haha!

When I share my point of view with my friends about the rule, they’ll just say ‘you don’t understand the feeling!’ and I’ll immediately fumed up cause I thought I understand enough. Yea, right!

A week ago, I registered myself at a new hostel in my Uni. The old hostel of mine is handed over to the boys. So, my old hostel became my ex-hostel.

I love my new hostel. Well, everything’s new. The facilities are even better. My room is like an apartment. I love it!

After a few days, I followed a friend to her room. Her hostel is next to my ex-hostel. I could see the boys walking freely around my ex-hostel, on the path I usually step my feet on. They’re eating at the café- the one I used to dine in. and so on.

Suddenly, I could feel some kind of hatred within myself. I felt like kicking the boys ***es. I hate seeing them there! That was mine!!!

Weird, uh? At that particular moment, I truly understand the feeling of a person when her/his friend dating her/his ex.

This type of lesson is called analogy. A similarity in some aspects found between two examples. It’s a process of reasoning between similar examples.

Hahaha.